Signs that I watch too much TV: I'm super-excited that for the final four episodes of Felicity, they'll go back in time and into a parallel universe to see what would have happened if she'd picked Noel instead of Ben. The shy web designer should definitely win over the alcoholic prettyboy. Another sign that TV has degraded my vocabulary: "super-excited" was my adjective of choice.
I know this guy:
You've probably read all the different "National Database" stories recently. That's why I think I should change my name. Not to something normal, but to a function. This way, when my name, Andy =CONCATENATE(B3:B5) is entered into the database, I'll be stored as Andy SmithWatersFord or some such thing. This is only the beginning. People could change their names to a problematic script that would randomly copy and paste data to other places. These "macros" or whatever you want to call them would be like status symbols.
Somebody's so busted. Let's say you've got a guy, and we'll call him Bob, who's applying for a job as a webmaster for a college department. And let's say he copies someone else's design for his resume and portfolio. Maybe Bob shouldn't have applied for the old job of the person whose design he copied, especially since she's on the hiring committee.
Hundreds of cows have been spotted in downtown Portland. They're grazing in Pioneer Square, mooing uncontrollably, leaving patties; it's not a pretty sight. But they're well-intentioned: these Kows for Kids are hoping to raise a moolion dollars for youth and family charities. Greg, Wendy, and I hoofed around town yesterday communing with the bovines. Took some pictures. I've now officially used up my lame pun quota; don't expect to see any more here this year.
This is me doing my guess-who's-going-to-San-Francisco-to-the-Nielsen/Norman-User-Experience-conference-in-June dance. Ooga chakka.
Put a voodoo curse on someone. Not on me.
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I need help from someone in the magical world to help me make my husband's ex-wife disappear!!! In a magical sense!
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Last night at the John Mayer concert, a guy told his girlfriend he knew she wanted to marry John, and that that was okay with him. As long as he got backstage passes.
Remember when that kid set himself on fire after watching a similar stunt on MTV's Jackass? One of the show's writers explains that fire was just doing its job, and that "the burned up kid is obviously not terribly bright, (well, he was for a short period of time, until they put him out) ."
Went to the park this afternoon to play guitar. Watched three little-league teams practice. A basset hound drooled on my notebook. All the while, I was fantasizing that singer-sonwriter John Mayer, who's playing in town tonight, would wander by, hear my outstanding cover of his song "3x5," and want to marry me. Yes, I'm back in middle school again. But at least I have tickets to his show tonight. And, aside from the inevitable gleaming review of his show, you won't hear me blather on about him here anymore.
Sometimes I wish my favorite artists (like John Mayer and Jude) would remain unknown. That they'd struggle in obscurity forever, and they'd be my little secret. I know, I should wish them fame and fortune, but it sucks to go to ticketmaster and get this message:
 | We are unable to fulfill your specific request. We may not have the type of tickets you requested or the number of seats together that you are looking for. If you are unable to find tickets, be sure to check back often. As the date of the event nears, many times a limited number of tickets may be released. |
Can't stop listening to Norah Jones's live studio session from the Sounds Eclectic radio show. Her smoky voice and sultry piano take my breath away.
Google's patented PigeonRank™ technology:
"Building upon the breakthrough work of B. F. Skinner, [Google's] Larry Page and Sergey Brin reasoned that low cost pigeon clusters (PCs) could be used to compute the relative value of web pages faster than human editors or machine-based algorithms."
"By collecting flocks of pigeons in dense clusters, Google is able to process search queries at speeds superior to traditional search engines, which typically rely on birds of prey, brooding hens or slow-moving waterfowl to do their relevance rankings."
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