thoughtcrumbs : january 2000

Mapquest's improved design

Kudos to Mapquest for adding good new features without overcomplicating the interface. Now you can find directions to a business without knowing its exact address. Just search for it by name and get a list of local results, complete with phone numbers. No more need to go to QwestDex first! Road icons (interstate, left turn, exit, etc.) appear on each line of the driving directions, making each line easier to skim for someone with limited attention capacity (say, with one eye on the road in a downpour at night). Plus, you can expand each line to include a very-zoomed street map of that step, perfect for those curlicue suburban avenues that all have the same name. Mapquest links to your most recent searches from its front page, continues to archive them in the pulldown menus on the search page, and lets you clear them at will.

Overweight and undereducated? Get a date in Portland!

Match.com recently released some of its dating profile statistics, revealing that Portlanders prefer slightly heavier partners, and that PhDs are in significantly less demand here than in other cities. Is it time to move?

Some of the marketing logic behind BarbieOS

Mattel announced the release of BarbieOS, a Debian-Linux-based OS for its B-Book laptops, aimed at little girls. Statements from the "press release":

"If Barbie were a career-focused woman working in the IT industry in 2003, she would support open standards."

"Most girls up through adult women become frightened and confused, often hysterical when presented with a traditional command prompt," [Mattel’s Chief Software Architect Maury] Cesterino explained, "therefore the console program available through the B-Menu in BarbieOS features pink text on a flowered background so as to not intimidate or threaten females, and all windows are circular instead of the usual square, since most females unconsciously associate a circular shape with inclusiveness and the womb."

My ridiculously exorbitant Christmas wish list

Some things I've been drooling over lately:

• Sony VAIO TR2AP3 laptop (10.6" screen, 3lbs)
• Kawai CP95 digital piano (simple interface, good touch)
• Samsung SyncMaster 17" LCD monitor (silver)

Appreciation in six easy steps

You might find Mighty Girl's article on Thank You Note etiquette helpful this holiday season.

Me: blond frisbee chaser, You: kinda short, soft brown eyes - w4m - 8

"Hi, I saw you the other day at the park. Near sunset. I was the blond frisbee chaser and you tried to steal my toy. You were slightly smaller than me, quick on your feet, and had the sweetest brown eyes. I'm sorry I growled at you, I didn't really mean it. I was just caught off guard.

If my ass smelled as alluring to you as yours did to me, please pee on the second tree to the left of the soccer field. I'll look for it.

Hope to hear from you,
The bitch from Waterfront park

p.s I go into heat in May"
(from the Best of Craigslist)

McBlech

Having just finished Fast Food Nation, I was amused to hear McDonalds' announcement that their Chicken McNuggets would be made with all white meat. McDonalds' website touts the nuggets' reduced calories and saturated fat, while everyone else wonders what they were made of before. (My favorite is that they are harvested from the souls of the damned.) Some purport the new meat to be genetically modified, others think it's just an advertising ploy.

I find it interesting that the vegetarian alternatives are just as suspect: sickened eaters of Quorn nuggets are suing the FDA for approving the fungus in those products, and Veat gets its texture from a "twin-shaft micro-extrusion process in which a very specific combination of parameters are brought together: a particular screw geometry and a very specific application of variable temperature and pressure throughout the extrusion process." Yummy.

Grammar challenges

"Elizabethan cookbooks vs Mike Tyson's press conferences. Much the same syntax." (Mimi Smartypants)

Lovely Hula Hands

Some friends-of-mine-once-removed recently opened Lovely Hula Hands, a charming vintage-y eclectic restaurant in NoPo. Across the street from the appalling Dream House (HGTV's televised construction nightmare that evokes a smarmy sense of schadenfreude in its watchers), the pink-themed restaurant provides a cozy respite from gloomy winter evenings. The menu has ample vegetarian options (of which I highly recommend the Cuban pumpkin rice), and apparently, a turkey soup to die for. Both the Willamette Week and Mercury reviewed it highly (a strange feat for the latter); chef Jesse Garcia honed his chops at some of the best kitchens in town. Spice-wusses (like me) be warned, Jesse makes cheek-rosying dishes. However, co-owner Sarah Minnick cheerily brought me a glass of soy milk to cut the heat (with an apology for it being vanilla). Stripped to its original bones, the 1910 house has a warm, DIY vibe, and the titular Hawaiian touch is reflected only in the original leafy wallpaper. No leis or Tiny Bubbles to be found in this classy, but reasonably priced, place.

Canstruction

Canstruction, a massive for-charity canned-food sculpture contest (far surpassing Guam's Spam-carving contest) is coming to Portland in February.